Good Morning friends,
Here are some more thoughts about our inner child, those younger versions of ourselves that still live inside of us.
Hope it encourages you today.
Glenn || PATREON / BUY ME A COFFEE
The other day I told you about the Shepherds in Luke's Gospel (they only appear in Luke, not Matthew) and how in his book, Radical Transformation, Alexander John Shaia describes them as ...
"Outcasts, people who had few skills, no resources, and little family. Feared, they lived lives near of starvation, isolated from regular society. They were considered to be an unstable element, potentially thieving and dangerous."
... Luke was writing to the outcasted Messianic Jews, Christians who had recently been cast out of Judaism and so he paints a picture of God coming to the outcasts so that they would remember that God has come to them.
A new thing was happening.
Something new was being birthed into the world.
AND.
Rather than leave the outcasts on the outside looking in, Luke has an angel go out to them to welcome them in, to have a front row seat at the birth of this new and amazing thing.
What this has me thinking this morning is about the outcasted parts of myself, the parts of my life and my past and my being that I tend to push away and stuff down in an effort to grow and move forward and mature and how when new seasons of life are birthed within me and around me ... I tend to NOT welcome those parts of me to the party.
For instance.
I've always struggled with doubt, I've mentioned that here before. For as long as I can remember I have felt insecure, not good enough, stupid, and worthless. For the longest time I was told that it was a demon inside of me that merely needed to be cast out, but recently I've discovered that the insecure voice inside is actually my inner child or a younger version of myself who is parroting back to me the things he heard when he was younger from his father, teachers, etc ...
"You'll never amount to anything."
"You can't do that, it's too hard."
"You messed it up."
"You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?"
... and although I've learned to befriend that younger version of myself and remind him of the truth of who he is and although I'm truly at a place in my journey where I'm happy with myself, I'd much rather leave that younger version of myself out in the fields with the outcasted shepherds while I tend to the birth of the new things in my life.
Like.
When I quit my job at Apple and then at Starbucks and decided to do ... this. It was the birth of a new season, right? No longer working for "the man", doing what I truly love. Will it last forever? 5 years? 10 years? I don't know, honestly. But for however long it is, this is a brand new season that I'm amped about - so excited, so thrilled, so grateful. And in the midst of that excitement ... I don't know ... I really don't want the younger version of me filled with doubt and fear to come into the birthing room and bring down the vibe.
Older Glenn.
More mature Glenn.
More confident Glenn.
... Really wants younger Glenn to stay out in the fields and keep busy.
I was reading from Alexander's book this morning and dwelling on all of these things and I felt Spirit whisper that just as God sent the Angel Gabriel out to the fields to invite the outcasts to the birth of the new thing, so I would be wise to send older, more confident Glenn out to the back fields of my soul to invite little Glenn to the birth of this new thing because he deserves to see for himself that all the people who told him that he was weak and stupid and would never amount to anything were wrong.
Yes.
That young boy went through years of trauma and verbal abuse and came to a place where he believed he could never do what I'm doing right now and if anyone deserves a front row seat to watch this thing continue to unfold ... it's him.
He will be nervous.
He will express doubt.
He will be afraid.
BUT.
... I can put my arm around his shoulder, sit him on my knee, and tell him to buckle up for the ride of his life.
I wonder what parts of YOU exist out in the back fields of your heart and mind? The parts of you that you'd rather forget? The parts of you that weighed you down so much in the past that you'd rather not invite them to the new things that are on the horizon of your life? And I wonder if it may be helpful for you to, like me, send the older and more mature version of yourself out to the fields to announce to younger you the birth of the new things in your life and invite him/her/them to come with you for a front row seat?
Outcasting that version of us to the fields and keeping them away from the good things of our present only reiterates to them the message they were fed as children - that they aren't good enough and will mess up anything that's good.
Perhaps the most generous, loving, and healing thing you could do for that part of yourself is to show up in their field today and invite them to come with you to experience the birth of whatever new season you're moving into.